How to make friends at university

Heading to university can be intimidating. One of the scariest parts is moving away and starting fresh when you don't know anyone.

Luckily, it doesn’t have to be as difficult as it sounds, even if you’re not the most sociable person. In fact, uni can be the perfect environment to find people you really connect with.

To help you get started with building those relationships, we’ve gathered some tips for how you can make friends at uni.

Making friends at uni may feel a little different from school or college.

There will be lots more people around for a start. While this can feel a bit overwhelming, it’s a plus when it comes to making friends. You’re much more likely to find people who share your passions and interests.

You also can’t count on running into your friends every day – there’s no guarantee you’ll be in the same lectures or even the same locations on campus. To maintain your university friendships, you’ll need to be more proactive about keeping in touch and making plans.

That’s not always the case though. If you make friends with your flatmates in halls or move into a house with friends later on, you’ll be seeing them constantly.

Living together is great in terms of making spontaneous plans but it also means you’ll need to be careful to respect everyone’s boundaries – you don’t want to ruin a friendship because you ‘borrowed’ someone's milk once too often.

So aside from getting to know your neighbours in halls, how do you actually find friends at university? Lucky for you, there are plenty of ways.

Events are one of the best ways to get out and meet people, as everyone attending will be in the mood to socialise.

Every uni has its legendary parties and club nights. Freshers' weeks usually have stacked schedules and there will be regular nights out throughout the year. There are plenty of ways to enjoy events as a non-drinker, too.

Alternatively, why not head to the pub for quiz night? You could even recruit your own team ahead of time by putting the word out on social media beforehand. Who knew you could kickstart a social life on the strength of your movie trivia knowledge?

If you’d prefer something quieter and more laid back, don’t worry. There are always events of all kinds happening on campus, from film screenings to fundraisers. You could even network at career events and strike up new friendships that way. Do your research and commit to going, even if you only plan to watch from the sidelines for now.

Social media lets you get to know other students before you even get to university. See if there are any groups for your year, halls or course.

Even if you feel too shy to jump into the conversation right away, keep track of the discussion to see if there’s a way you can quietly ease your way in. Asking a factual question about what to pack or how something works is a practical way to join the chatter. There’s a good chance others are also wondering the same thing.

Once you’re at university, social media can help you connect with people who share your tastes. For instance, if you’re not into going out, you might be able to find a few like-minded homebodies who’d rather gather for a casual night in.

Societies are student-led groups and clubs themed around particular interests or sports. They’re the perfect way to find people who are into the same things you are.

Whether you love netball or sci-fi, you’re almost guaranteed to find a group dedicated to it. Most will organise regular events throughout the year, letting you build friendships over time.

You don’t need to commit right away though. Many societies and clubs will organise taster events. These are a fun opportunity to meet potential friends, even if you decide against joining.

Making friends with students on your course can be super helpful as you’ll be going through the same experiences. You’ll also be able to study together.

You’ll likely be invited to an induction event when you start. This is an ideal chance to introduce yourself as everyone will be in the same position of not knowing anyone else.

If you’re further through your course and you didn’t start getting to know your coursemates right away though, don’t worry. You haven’t missed your chance.

When you have sessions where you’re placed in small groups, like seminars, that’s a golden opportunity. It can be as simple as asking the group if anyone wants to grab a coffee afterwards.

Starting up a conversation might come naturally to you. But if you’re more on the introverted side, it can feel intimidating.

The first thing to do is to remind yourself that the stakes aren’t that high, even though it might seem like they are.

Our brains are hardwired to fear social rejection, and that influences the way we think about situations like this. In reality though, you’re not going to be cast out if you make a joke that doesn’t land.

Other people at uni are likely to be just as interested in making friends. The people you approach will probably be glad you said hi – after all, you’re saving them from having to pluck up the courage to initiate something themselves.

If you do end up having an awkward moment, it might feel bad at the time but it’ll be over quickly. Keep reminding yourself that you’re not going to ruin your chances of making friends with a few false starts.

You don’t need to overthink what you should say, either. You could simply say hello and ask a basic question, like what course or modules someone is doing. It might seem like a boring start, but it gets you over that first hurdle, and everything is easier once the ice is broken.

So you’ve been chatting to someone and it’s going well. How do you start developing it into a friendship?

You could ask for their number or socials to keep in touch. If you feel pushy asking that outright, you could offer to send them a link or a recommendation based on something you’ve been discussing and get their details that way.

Perhaps offer a casual invitation as well. Suggest meeting for coffee or tell them about an event you’re going to that you think they’d enjoy.

At this stage, you just need to give them the signal that you’d be open to hanging out again and offer a low-pressure way for them to keep things going.

It can be tempting to try and reinvent yourself at uni. Acting a certain way might feel like the only way to get and keep friends.

But putting on a front like this is exhausting in the long run. That's why it's best to start as you mean to go on – in the way that makes you most comfortable being yourself.

Remember that there are lots of people on campus, too. There will be plenty who can appreciate you for you.

Likewise, don’t feel you have to be friends with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. One big perk of university is that you have total independence on how you spend your time and who with, so choose in your best interests.

Remember there are all sorts of friendships, ranging from mates you like going to the pub with to trusted shoulders to cry on. It’s good to have a mix.

Forming those deeper friendships might take a while, and that’s okay. You don’t need to find your uni besties on your first day or even during your first year. Keep meeting people and starting conversations – you’ll get there.